


I am just a ghost with a beating heart and a life no longer my own.

by bereweillschmidt



Category: Captain America (Movies), Dishonored (Video Game)
Genre: Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Magic-Users
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 05:13:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4378595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bereweillschmidt/pseuds/bereweillschmidt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Bucky live in Rudshore (Flooded District) when Corvo Attano is arrested. His actions affect them through their escape. Steve is marked by The Outsider to be able to get out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I am just a ghost with a beating heart and a life no longer my own.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a fanfic for my sister who insisted on this crossover. I seriously got really invested and liked it a lot. I'm not a professional writer and English is not my first language, so bear with me. If you haven't played Dishonored, you will be kinda spoiled and you won't understand much (?) but if you have, hope you enjoy it.

Bucky ran through the few open streets without rats as quickly as he could. His legs were about to give up, but he knew he had to deliver the elixir to his pal, Steve. 

 

Since the beginning of the plague, and them being of the thousands of persons who were living in Rudshore, he had to sacrifice his amount of the precious medicine arguing that Steve needed it the most. It had been true, the poor lad could barely breathe on a normal day. The little money Steve’s mum did as a nurse could pay for a week’s elixir, and Bucky pick-pocketed the gang men to get an extra.

 

Mrs. Rogers had died a few months after the plague had arrived to Dunwall, leaving poor Steve on his own. Nobody cared for a pair of boys who were dirty and thin as any other weeper. They had tried to move other place, fearing to end up like the many bodies dumped in the river, but the Overseers guarded the exits to a better place.

 

Then the flood. Escaping through the sewers was impossible now. They had it hard at the beginning, but then they moved to the top floor of their own building. An old couple accepted them under the condition they could bring cans of food from all over the city to survive. 

 

The old man had died two days after his late wife. Bucky was somehow relieved, the food wasn’t enough for four.

 

He called for Steve to drop the chain so he could climb to the cramped room. Steve tried to keep everything clean and in order, all of his drawings stacked under a bone charm. Bucky hugged his friend, breathless. He was tired of running away.

 

“We have enough elixir for both of us.” Steve said, the warmth of his breath hitting the skin of the crook of Bucky’s neck. He shuddered. “We could stay the whole weekend inside.”

“How you know it’s a weekend?” Bucky asked pulling away and ruffling the blond hair. Steve just shrugged. “Ya know? The Empress is dead. I bet things will get worse now. Hopefully the damned guards will go away to try and catch the assassin and we’ll be able—“

“I don’t think it’s gonna be that easy, Buck.”

“Huh?” Bucky frowned. “Steve Rogers giving up?”

“Aww, c’mon.”

“I’m just sayin’!” He pointed to the window. The grey skies, the polluted scenery. The imminent destruction was just outside their safe room. “The assassin is gonna take all their time. Might as well come with a benefit.” Steve sighed.

 

“Attention Dunwall citizens, trespassing will be punished with death.” The loudspeaker began. Steve looked at Bucky and he groaned, accepting defeat.

 

“When did she die?” Asked Steve after a few minutes of silence. He was pouring the elixir into two tea cups. Evenly. 

“I don’t know. I heard it from one of the whalers.”

“Oh…” Steve gives Bucky one tea cup. “Was this from them?” Bucky nods, not looking him in the eyes.

“Ya need this more than me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, both of us need this. Otherwise, we’ll be going into The Void.”

“Punk.” Bucky raises his cup.

“Jerk.” They raised their cups, smiling and then drank the elixir. “May the wind brings us luck.”

They shared a tin of Pratchett jellied eels, much to Bucky’s disgust, for dinner. Steve read the same book again for a bit and both went to sleep. 

 

To Steve’s surprise, he felt as he had woken up just a second after closing his eyes and feeling like letting go. He saw Bucky beside him, unconscious and snoring. He didn’t think of disturbing him for a moment. He felt as he needed to head out the room. The door had bricks blocking the exit, so he chose the balcony instead. Whiteness and fragments of land flying was the only thing he could see. Lamps guiding him to another building. He jumped and didn’t feel tired at all. His lungs were working fine. For once. He thanked Bucky for the elixir in his mind.

 

When he got to the top, he found a big rock with inscriptions on top. When he touched it, a young man appeared before him.

“Steven Rogers.” He said, Steve dropped the rock in shock. “What you just dropped is a Rune. They will help you connect with The Void whenever you feel lost. I’m not here to guide you, but to… recommend you moves on your way. You’ve survived, and that’s why I’m interested in you.” He chuckled and then crossed his arms. “You believe in goodness even in the thief of your friend. You believe there will be salvation for Dunwall, when the only person who seems to care about its safety will shed the blood of many to achieve it.” Steve looked back to the room, he could still see Bucky sleeping. He was trying to connect the words the young man was saying with whatever pounding in his chest he was feeling. “You don’t have much time. Either you will perish here or outside Rudshore. That is your decision.” Steve opened his mouth to say something but a burn in his left hand made him moan in pain. “That is my mark. It will give you magical abilities. Don’t forget about the runes. The runes are important.” Steve was nodding, not sure why.

 

He woke up, breathless. Bucky opened his eyes, scared.

“It’s a nightmare, Stevie!” He put both hands on each shoulder, Steve was trembling. Of course Steve knew what it meant, he wasn’t an idiot. The Outsider had spoken to him. He had heard pagans around Dunwall talk about him. They had been killed for the same reason. The Outsider went against everything the Overseers cherished. He let Bucky embrace him while he battled choosing in between telling him about the dream or not. “Shh… it’s fine. You’re here with me…” 

 

And even if his heart dictated to tell Bucky about it, his mind warned him about putting his best friend in risk. 

 

 

 

 

_When the last Leviathan is gone, darkness will fall_

_Someday this place will devour all lights in the sky._

_I can feel a great age ending_

 

They packed the little amount of food they had, their elixirs and a few clean clothes for their trip. Bucky set the chain on the balcony. He fumbled with trembling hands knotting it on the edge. He was nervous. Something in Steve looked odd, he wasn't sure what was it. He smiled weakly to the blond and took the backpack from his shoulders, of course the younger man fought back.

“Buck, I ain’t a kid.” Steve protested, pulling the backpack. Bucky didn’t hold him back, he let him take the backpack. Thing is, Steve had never climbed down the chain. He had to wait for Bucky to hold on to it to then climb on his back. He didn’t say a word when they were going down. The streets stunk terribly. The wind on the top protected them from the fumes.

 

“Attention Dunwall citizens, trespassing will be punished with death.” The loudspeaker began “A trial for the assassin, Corvo Attano will take place in a month.” Bucky turned to Steve shocked. “Let us remember our dear Empress in these hard times and may the heir to the throne appears soon, safe and sound.” The sound was dead again and both were still standing on the streets.

 

“They’ve caught the assassin.” Bucky finally muttered.  
“I believe they had caught him from the beginning, Buck. Otherwise they would have started an extensive search around Dunwall when she was murdered.” Steve bit his lower lip, unsure. He wanted to convince his friend and not let him panic. Bucky nodded slowly, agreeing. Maybe convincing himself about it.

 

The walk around the open streets of Rudshore was calm. The wind blew through the broken windows, whistling mysterious songs sometimes. Steve had hidden The Outsider’s mark with a clothe and now he felt it burn. He didn’t whine about it. They could see a group of people a flew blocks away.

“Weepers or citizens?” Bucky asked. Steve shrugged. “I would suggest to climb to one of the buildings and get through them that way but there ain’t a way up.” He bit the inside of his cheek. Steve’s left hand twitched and the wind blew hard, he then saw leaves dancing with it and a chain slipped through the balcony on the right building close to them. Bucky turned to him and chuckled, excited.

 

Steve couldn’t help but feel worried about it.

 

“The wind hatta help us, Stevie.” The blond nodded quickly, forcing a smile. Bucky climbed first. He whistled when he got to the balcony. “The Outsider walks among us!” He shouted. Steve’s guts twisted inside. He wrapped the chain around his waist for Bucky to pull him up. When he got to the top, his friend was cheerful as ever singing bits of an old sailing song.

“It was a coincidence.” Steve pointed out. “Nothin’ but a coincidence, Buck.” Bucky smirked pointing to the wall inside. Purple lights illuminated a kind of altar. One of the runes stood in the middle, whistling and making his left hand burn.

“Say what you want ‘bout the pagans, but something helped us back there.” Steve got close to the shrine and picked up the rune. The Outsider appeared before him. He felt shocked. But Bucky was still singing and clueless about what was happening with his friend.

 

“Don’t you trust your friend, Steven? Is he not worthy enough for you to be honest? Or is that you feel ashamed of my gift to you?” He scoffed, crossing his arms. “See how I helped you earlier? That’s how I will help you get out of here. However, I won’t take decisions for you. You’re up and out of the weeper’s way. Be careful with the guards.” The Outsider dissolved and he felt a hand on his shoulder. Bucky’s smile faded when Steve turned to him.

 

“Is there something wrong?” Steve shook his head. His throat caught in despair. He wanted to tell him but didn’t want Bucky to feel anxious in front of the Overseers because they would _smell it on them_. “C’mon. We hafta find a place that doesn’t stink to eat somethin’” Steve smiled weakly and followed the brunet.

 

※

 

Slippery rooftops and half-destroyed buildings made their way to the West tricky. The people on the streets were weepers, of course and it seemed like they wouldn’t find a healthy soul anywhere. They saw bright spotlights burning the walls and pavement at the end of the street, they knew what was coming.

 

They crawled to the edge and saw guards piling bodies on a trash bin. Women, men and children were the same when there was no spark left in them anymore. Steve felt sick. Bucky put a hand on his back and his index finger on his lips, as if to tell him to be silent. Steve nodded, denying his humanity to ruin their only opportunity to get out.

 

“I will get down, you stay here.” Bucky whispered into his ear. Steve grabbed his arm, to protest but Bucky winked at him, sliding down a pipe to the next story below. Steve’s heart was pounding hard inside his chest. He now felt like he could lose it all. He unwrapped his left hand, wanting to summon The Outsider to protect Bucky. _Fuck_. He wanted to be able to follow Bucky.

 

He tried to do the same as his pal. He slid down the pipe, ungracefully. He could see Bucky turn up at him, confused. He was moving his hands, pissed about whatever Steve was trying to do. Steve shook his head at him, protesting. Bucky rubbed his palm against his face, done with Steve’s attitude on this matter. 

 

Steve had made it two stories down when he bumped on a wooden log. The guards turned up immediately. Bucky’s heart was caught in his throat. He ran towards the three men and the first shot was heard. Steve whimpered and tried to see if his friend had been shot. He was still a floor away from the street. He felt cold but he also knew he was sweating. He’d fucked up. He shouldn’t have done that. He heard a second shot, and yelling but he couldn’t make out the words.

 

He couldn’t see Bucky. He stretched his left arm and wanted to jump from where he was, to help his friend. He saw a blue light and felt how it pulled him onto the street. He was winded up. The guards shouted surprised, their voice lower than the usual. He saw Bucky, throwing bricks at them. Steve was just behind the guards. He felt confused, dizzy. He grabbed one brick from the floor and didn’t think twice about it. He threw it to the Captain’s head. The body hit the mud with a loud thud. The other two turned around, surprised. One of them pointed at Steve with their gun.

 

This could be it. This was Steve’s wrong decision on The Outsider’s perfect plan. He wasn’t meant to do this. He tried to close his eyes to be shot, but something inside him didn’t let his eyes have control. He stared, helplessly to the shocked face of a man just following orders. He heard a brick hit close, and another. _Run, Bucky_. He thought. Ironically, the last thought before joining The Outsider in the Void was his friend. His friend he couldn’t trust with this curse.

 

And somehow Steve thought that it had been quite a long time since he’d started thinking about being shot. Maybe, and just maybe, time was irrelevant when you were facing death. He turns his head to search for the other guard, a brick moving extremely slow was supposed to hit him but Steve could see for how much it would miss his head.

 

He walked towards it and everything felt as a dream. He didn’t know if he was still alive or if this was part of the afterlife: himself helping Bucky out, finally. After being killed.

 

Steve pushed the brick so that it hit the guard’s back of the neck perfectly and then turned back to the guard that was supposed to shoot him. He was still looking at where Steve was supposed to be standing. He saw another brick directed at this one, he made sure it hit faster pushing it forward. Then he assumed his position. He blinked, closing his eyes a bit longer.

 

The guards’ groans and the sound of them hitting the mud felt as good as a cup of elixir. 

 

“Holy shit!” Bucky shouted. “Holy shit, Steve!” Bucky ran towards him and hugged him. Steve felt guilty about everything, in the end it had been his fault. 

“I’m sorry about all of this, Bucky.” Steve said pushing his friend away. “I shouldn’t had…”

“They’re out, aren’t they?” He rested each hand on each side of his hips, looking around him. Then he aimed for Steve’s hair to ruffle it and then hug him. “I’m just glad I could save you.”

 

_Is he not worthy enough for you to be honest?_ The Outsider’s voice inside Steve’s head hurt. But he thanked him anyways.

 

 

 

_When Pretty Emily woke one day_

_She saw the world a different way_

_Her eyes now looked with a stranger's guile_

_Her dainty mouth smiled a stranger's smile_

 

Steve covered his hand after what happened. If Bucky saw anything, he pretended really well it had been all pure luck. Steve was even more quiet, trying to ignore the itch on his left hand.

 

Bucky put a hand on Steve’s chest to stop him from walking. 

 

“Attention Dunwall citizens, trespassing will be punished with death. The solitary wing is off-limits to maintenance crews, unless accompanied by an officer of the Watch. Escort through the solitary wing must be scheduled in advance, with one week's notice.”

 

They were in a hostile area, there were whalers on every corner. Bucky was well-known for them, once they tried to lure him to join the gang but Barnes knew better. He had to protect Steve. Also, it made him sick they chose anyone up twelve years old willing to beat up anyone who didn’t agree with them. That’s why he didn’t feel any remorse when he robbed them. He felt they were stealing from good people anyways.

 

Bucky grabbed Steve’s backpack and opened it, in the meantime the blond looked down, still wondering if it was a good idea to tell his friend about The Outsider constant visits. Bucky grabbed a bottle of oil and some matches. Steve frowned at him.

 

“You ain’t thinkin’ about startin’ a fire, right?” he whispered with a worried tone. “What if there are survivors up there?”

“There ain’t any survivors ‘round here. It’s you and me against these fuckers.” Bucky replied taking a piece of clothe to light it.

“Then it’s a decision we both must take.” Steve glared at his friend and Bucky sighed. “Good.”

“What’s your plan, then?” he asked on a husky tone. “Throw bricks at ‘em? They are colder than guards, they would kill you in a blink of an eye.” Steve bit his lower lip concerned about their possibilities. They had to cross the Old Mosley Canal before the new Overseers arrived to Rudshore, otherwise it was going to be a hell of a trip to get out of the Flooded District. Bucky lifted both arms and lighted the clothe. Steve shouted at him, alerting the whalers.

 

The men ran towards them, Bucky threw the bottle at them, spreading the fire everywhere. The whalers started shooting and the heat seemed to be attracting the weepers. It was a wide street and yet Steve felt like the walls were closing around them: they had weepers behind them, the whalers before them and flames poured on the concrete, trash aiding the fire. 

 

Steve closed his eyes and took off the clothe on his hand. The itch had become stronger. He wished, with all his heart, that something could stop the whalers from shooting at them (of course they had shot some weepers on their missing bullets); he opened his eyes and saw the mark of The Outsider pouring blood, but no pain came out of it. A shadow appeared beneath the concrete and rats started pouring out of it. As if it were an entrance to a sewer. The whalers screamed in terror, shooting now at the rats. Bucky started shouting _what the hell?_ and trying to focus on the weepers.

 

Bricks and rocks were enough to scare the weepers away. When the battle was over, the sound of burning flames and rats was the only thing they both could hear. They turned around and the scenery was grotesque. There were burnt bodies, roamed bones and chewed limbs all over the concrete. Bucky groaned at the sight. 

 

“Why aren’t the rats attacking us?” was the first thing Bucky said after a while. Steve looked at his hand immediately and Bucky saw the remains of blood. “Holy shit, Steve!” 

“I’m fine, I swear.” Steve hid his hand. “I wasn’t bitten by a rat.” the brunet looked at him skeptically and trusted his friend. But still knew something was odd with him.

 

The Canal smelled worse than the whole city. Or that was what Steve perceived. There were bodies on the streets but the river was filled with them. The bridges were burnt down and it appeared it was going to be impossible to cross it since the only train that could go through had to pass a Light Wall. Bucky kicked trash in despair. He shouted and laughed sarcastically.

“All of this was for nothin’!” He pointed at the sky. “We are meant to rot in here!” He got on his knees and looked down. Steve looked at him with pity. They had come out of their safety all because of him. They had gone through all of this because of a stupid dream. He went beside him and got on his knees, resting his palm on the back of his friend.

“At least we tried.” He said, reassuringly and Bucky didn’t protest. Just sobbed. Steve put down his backpack and opened it, taking out an elixir and the two cups. He poured the red liquid in them and shared one with the brunet. Bucky didn’t take the cup. “Remember fifteen years ago? Like when we were really young? When the plague wasn’t the main thing and we could go on the streets and play around? I remember that my ma used to say ‘that kid Barnes will be the end of you, you follow him everywhere’, of course as a joke. But still. I think it’s going to be the other way around…” his voice broke a bit and the brunet looked up. Those dark blue eyes, red rimmed skin around the eyes— Bucky was pained. “I’m sorry, Bucky.” Barnes took the cup from Steve’s cold hand and clink their cups.

“Cheer up, pal. At least we are together.” he drank the whole thing, put the cup down and put his hand on the back of the head of Steve. He pulled. Steve’s heart skipped a beat. Their foreheads touched and they could see each other in the eyes. Bucky closed them after a while.

 

It was true. There were many stories around Dunwall, painful stories. In a couple, there was always one suffering for the other one’s death. They sometimes would hear desperate cryings down in the streets from someone who clearly lost their loved ones and was the only survivor. Not having someone to fight for killed you faster than any other plague, you were weaker and not willing to keep on living. 

 

And here they were, surrounded by death, blood and stink, touching their foreheads in sign of their strong friendship. Since the beginning, they were together, and if it was going meant to be, they were going to die together here at the edge of their District.

 

The sound of an explosion made them jump. A Tallboy, shooting weepers. Or survivors. They weren’t sure. They didn’t say anything but they ran back to one of the buildings, climbed the stairs. Bucky pushing Steve when he was left without any air in his lungs. They got to the top and closed the only door. They were scared. They knew Tallboys always found their targets. 

 

The adrenaline didn’t let Bucky sleep, but Steve fell in his arms as soon as he could breathe normally again. Bucky held him tight and watched the train come, drop bodies and go back to the city. He imagined himself jumping on it, going through the Light Wall with Steve and being able to walk without any preoccupation proving he wasn’t infected. 

 

But after all, it was just a dream.

 

※

 

They had stayed in that room for two weeks, or so that’s what Steve counted. Bucky stole from the guards that stayed on the first story in between change of shifts. There had been zero incidents with a TallBoy since that day, and even if they found weepers, they let them starve to death. They noticed guards were given a notice to kill anyone, survivor or not, in order to prevent the existence of weepers in a close future. 

 

It was a cruel world, Bucky thought, but there were necessary means to any desperate situation they were having. Still, he let Steve drink more elixir than him and pretended he had a few vials in his backpack. When Steve slept, he went up to the rooftops and walked around for a few hours, to stretch his legs, to plan their next move.

 

He needed to be fast and silent if he wanted to deactivate the Light Wall and be able to get to the other side. He knew it was impossible.

 

At nights there wasn’t much security because even if there was any survivor out there dreaming of jumping to the other side of the Light Wall, there were creepers waiting for them. They got hungrier at night. But there weren’t any survivors on the rooftops.

 

Steve didn’t say much but being sedentary made them both a bit hopeful that things were going to be better. Not walking around corpses and rats let them believe for a while that things were getting well. Even if it was a beautiful lie to tell themselves.

 

By the fourth week, Steve had sketched a little map with the help of Bucky’s night-walks. He also wrote every exact time a train came by and an approximate period they took to get rid of the bodies. They had the shifts of every guard per week, and even the inventory they had per day. Steve had cleaned the little apartment and their only bed.

 

The Outsider visited Steve in his dreams. He just reminded him about Bucky’s sin with his scenarios in The Void. Steve would ignored whatever he had to say and would just sit and enjoy the silence. The Outsider never demanded Steve to talk about anything, just repeated ‘ _Is he not worthy enough for you to be honest?’_ over and over until he woke up.

 

They dreamed of crossing to a better world but wanted to keep on living on what they knew it was safe for sure. They had been like this for over 8 years, they had survived. They didn’t want to change any of this at all.

 

But they wanted to live. Better. _Healthier._

 

They were going to try Plan A next day. That night they shared stories and kissed innocently until both fell asleep holding each other. They wanted to enjoy each other as most as they could to never forget what truly mattered in the world.

 

※

 

_"Attention, Dunwall citizens. The assassin, Corvo, responsible for the murder of our fair Empress and the disappearance of Lady Emily, heir to the throne, has temporarily escaped state custody. Any evidence as to his whereabouts must be delivered to the City Watch at once.”_

 

The sound of the loudspeaker woke them up, it was earlier than usual.

 

Whoever that Corvo was, Bucky wanted to thank him. Guards went bonkers that day. They were close to a radio for over three hours, giving them a window to escape. They manage to deactivate the Light Wall without any risk, and went to the closest location: _The Hound Pits Pub_. 

 

As soon as they closed the door behind them and read that they were out of Rudshore, they hugged and cheered. It felt unbelievable. They felt lighter and also very nervous. It was new for them, they hadn’t gone out of Rudshore ever before. Steve cried on Bucky’s shoulder, and the brunet couldn’t help the tears either. 

 

 

Steve felt relieved this had nothing to do with The Outsider, but just pure luck.

 

_The Outsider_ , Steve sighed. He had wanted to tell Bucky but now it seemed like he hadn’t been the reason he finally got outside. If he had to thank anyone was— that Corvo person. His left hand hadn’t itched for days, perhaps weeks. He had forgotten all about it.

 

They walked nervously, pushing each other playfully around the streets. Now it seemed hopeful, since there wasn’t any sign of a weeper or guard around them.

 

Steve then saw a building, the Pub. A young woman swept the floor just outside the door. Bucky opened his eyes in amazement and grabbed Steve’s hand, pulling him while starting to run.

 

The woman jumped just by seeing them: two young men, dirty, smelling like they had been living in the sewers. She, of course, screamed for help. Another young woman, red haired, came to her aid. Bucky was trying to tell her there was nothing to worry about. Steve was right behind him.

 

Even if there seemed nothing to worry about, Bucky would always protect Steve.

 

Cecelia calmed down Lydia, explaining that perhaps those two boys were survivors. Lydia then asked if everything was ready for the person they were all waiting for, to which Cecelia replied in a cheerful tone. Both young men were invited inside where another man poured some wine for them. 

 

They drank for a few hours, no one really minding them since they were expecting someone much else important, but they were enjoying their victory.

 

They were offered a room, a building close to the Pub, which they accepted. Perhaps they could spend a few days there before they started moving North.

 

Steve and Bucky shared another elixir that night before going to bed. They chanted the sailors’ song. They enjoyed each other’s lips. In The Void, Steve thanked The Outsider for inspiring him to move on; the deity didn’t say much, only that he was delighted they had made it out alive. 

 

Then asked if he was ever going to tell Bucky, in which Steve replied by waking up.

 

 

_At night she told me of her dreams._

_Of the empty place where the Outsider whispered to her._

_With each visit, her craft grew,_

_until she could see through the eyes of moths,_

_and unlock a door or window latch from outside a house._

 

_I will find this empty place._

_Somehow the key to open the Void will fall into my hands._

_In time, I will learn the secret and he will call to me as he called to her._

 

 

Steve hadn’t slept. He had stared at the Hounds Pit outside the window, watched as everyone started their day just before the sun began to shine. He sat in silence, wondering how he would be telling Bucky about The Outsider. He also imagined the possible scenarios. One of them was splitting up right there. How sad. All the stuff they went through, together, for them to end it all for an idiotic belief from the Overseers.

 

His left hand started burning. It was more painful than it had been before. It felt as it was being carved into his skin all over again. He tried to be silent about his pain, getting off the bed and running to the sink to wash it.

 

Water didn’t relief him at all.

 

Steve cursed, muttering the words trying to peel off the skin. He decided to ask for something at the Hounds Pit. He put on his pants and his usual shirt and walked towards the building. He opened the door and saw three men sitting inside of one of the booths. They chatted loudly, as if they didn’t care about the other people there.

 

Cecelia smiled as soon as she saw him. Steve was red because of the pain and she asked if he was alright.  
“Do you have anything to ease the pain?” He covered his hand with the clothe. She told him to wait for her, letting him sit at the bar. He nodded and watched her go.

 

“Do you know when will Corvo wake up? It’s not like he wasn’t sleeping at his cell.” A high-pitched, annoying voiced asked. Steve stopped breathing in shock. _Corvo_. The Empress’ assassin was with them. 

 

Cecelia appeared with some medicinal herbs and Steve coughed. She looked at the three men worriedly and then back to Steve, rubbing his back.

“It’d be better if you get some rest, uh—“

“Steve. My name’s Steve.” the pain wasn’t going anywhere.

“That’s good.” she smiled and he forgot about Corvo for a moment. “If you guys are hungry, we have low prices on our dishes.” Steve nodded and waved good-bye while walking to the back-door. The feeling that he should go somewhere got stronger. He pointed his hand upwards, the mark glowed strongly.

 

He had practised back in The Void how to Blink. He pointed to a window, the blue light embraced him and took him inside the building. He could hear other employees chatting, he was in their room after all. His heart was beating faster and he wasn’t used to the dizziness either. He walked towards the stairs and kept going up, until he reached the top floor.

 

The mark now was glowing purple. The burning was unbearable by now. He was sobbing, tears dropping onto the floor. He kept asking The Outsider to stop torturing him this way. _Please, please, PLEASE_. He hadn’t noticed he had walked into a room, there was a man on a bed. He was sleeping peacefully. The mark stopped burning.

 

He started walking back to the door when he heard the now familiar voice.

“I don’t usually do this, or perhaps I do but I don’t like to admit it, but this man is marked as you are.” Steve turned back to the bed. The Outsider was sitting on the edge of it, he wondered if the man knew he was there. “I needed to talk to you, after you left the Void last night, I kind of wanted to warn you that you will—umm.. How do I put this?—deteriorate, your magic, if you don’t get runes.” 

“I don’t know how to find them.”

“That’s what I thought you would be having as an excuse.” He chuckled. “Well, since your beloved one isn’t dead for me to take his heart; I will give you this…” The Outsider held a

carved bone in the shape of a whale, meant to be a bracelet or necklace… for a sailor. Steve took it from his hand and nodded.

 

“Is he Corvo?” The blond asked putting on the necklace. “You don’t have to answer… but if he’s with ya, I don’t think he could’ve murdered the Empress.”

“What makes you sure about that?” The deity smiled devilish.

“The men downstairs, they will use him for their own… they don’t sound as their really care about him at all.” Steve hid his hands in his pants’ pockets and shrugged. The Outsider frowned.

“I hope he is as fascinating as you are.” he finally said before disappearing.

 

Steve got out of the window and looked once more to the man. _Hope you do good_. He thought and embraced the blue light to land on the floor safe and sound. He walked towards his building, finding Bucky already awake but still in bed.

“Where were you?” He asked, worried. Suddenly, Steve remembered what he was supposed to be confessing today. “Did you have breakfast without me?”

“N’aww.” He replied. “Buck? Can I tell you something?” Bucky looked at him, propped himself with his elbows to get up from the bed and smiled. Steve’s throat was blocked with a knot. Bucky gave him some time, then looked down.

“It’s alright if you had breakfast without me, I slept in.” He chuckled nervously.

 

There was a bit of a long silence in there.

 

“Corvo Attano is sleeping in the Pit.” Bucky’s eyed widened in surprise.

“Holy shit!” He excitedly exclaimed. “Holy fuck! I thought—you were makin’ me nervous!”

“I have a bad feeling about whatever those men are planning.” Steve ignored Bucky’s statement.

“I should thank that man for saving us.” Steve looked at him weirdly. Bucky was smiling at the window, the sun bathing his pale skin. Then those dark blue eyes looked at him and smiled. Steve threw himself into his arms to kiss him and Bucky welcomed him warmly. “I also should thank him for that.” Steve smacked him softly on the cheek.

“I think he’s gonna be busy.” They hadn’t unpacked yet, Steve looked around still in Bucky’s arms. “Maybe we should start moving to the next District, Bucky.” The brunet nodded and sighed. He had been getting around the idea of staying there, it was a nice flat, safe from the plague. The only people around them was in the building in front of them, it wasn’t risky. He knew Steve wanted more, he always kept on fighting. Bucky wanted to say no but he wanted to follow the small blond everywhere because he couldn’t see the world without him. Without his shy smile, without the ruffled blond hair in the mornings, without his tantrums about how strong he can be. If he had to choose between having the plague and Steve Rogers or curing the plague and losing Steve Rogers, he would become a weeper for him.

 

It was idiotic, dependent and childish but he was all he could hold on to.

 

※

 

Bucky watched as Steve said good-bye to Cecelia. She offered them a vail of elixir so they could be safe on their way and a map, knowing they’d need it. She hugged the blond tightly, wishing him well. Bucky took his hand as soon as Steve joined him.

“She is such a nice person, Buck…” he mumbled, still waving good-bye and looking back.

“I know, Stevie, I know…” he couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous. Bucky wasn’t nice. Bucky was dirty, selfish, coward and angry. Or that’s how he perceived himself. He gulped.

 

“Attention Dunwall citizens: do not attempt to house or care for a friend or family member who shows signs of blood on their face and chest area. The only way to help them is to bring them to the City Watch. They will be taken to the Flooded District for treatment.” The loudspeaker made Steve jump and Bucky reassured him by squeezing his hand. 

“We’re going to be fine, punk.” Bucky didn’t feel sure about his words but he knew _something_ was watching over them. They walked to their next destination: The Distillery District.

 

※

 

Steve considered it would take them two days if they hurried to get to the District. Cecelia had assured him that things would start getting better and that a flat there would be cheap and safe enough for both. He also noticed that on the map there was a note, written by an Overseer probably, stating that this part of the city was highly populated by Outsider’s followers. It would be easy for him to blend in there.

 

The way was complicated, there was a river and apparently some of its streets were closed due to weepers. Steve sighed and rubbed his left hand, hoping to find a rune on their way. He didn’t want to be caught in surprise and not able to protect Bucky.

 

"Attention, Citizens of Dunwall. The Old Port District has been added to the evacuation list. The Weeper count for the Month of Seeds has increased. The Lord Regent has decreed that plague ordinances will remain in effect through the Month of Rain. Stay alert, and stay loyal.” Bucky turned at Steve, wide blue eyes staring.

 

“We barely made it on time.” Bucky said. “Holy shit, Steve. One day more and it would’ve been impossible for us to cross.” Steve smiled weakly, his heart pounding in his chest. Relief overwhelmed him. Fucking loudspeakers, their news were always changing their fate.

 

Following the main street, they found a security post of Overseers. Steve’s hand started itching.

“We’re survivors, they’ll let us pass through.” Bucky stated taking his hand. “Look, those are going through as well.” A couple and a man were walking towards the post. Steve began shaking out of fear, his hand felt like burning, a mild flame against his skin.

“Buck, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Bucky turned to look at him, frowning and then they heard a shot. _Oh, no_. The guards shot the survivors. 

 

Bucky pulled Steve to the opposite direction, trying to process what they had just done.

“They are supposed to protect us!” He shouted in disbelief, his voice breaking. “How are we going to get to the other side if they are shooting us?” His hands were shaking and Steve never let go, instead kissed the top of it. Bucky couldn’t look at him; he was shocked.

“We have the wind on our side…” he mumbled, trying to soothe Bucky’s nerves. “ _The Outsider walks among us…_ ” was this his confession? This sappy, overrated line he had read a hundred times on walls? Bucky’s breathing got steadier and he looked at their tangled hands.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bucky asked, letting go of Steve’s hand. “Are you… a _follower_?” Steve’s left hand still burnt, he now felt his heart blocking his throat.

 

“Hey, you!” The voice drained the blood from Bucky’s face. A guard was pointing at them, they must have been patrolling the streets near to the main one. Bucky froze right there, pulled Steve right behind his back. “Stop right there!” Orders, orders, orders. The brunet never let go of Steve’s hand whom closed his eyes, wishing with his heart the blue light could take them away from there.

 

Unfortunately, nothing happened.

 

Bucky mumbled something but Steve couldn’t hear properly, the blood pumped in his ears. This was it.

 

The blond saw the guard pulling out the gun. Time was irrelevant in that moment. He pulled Bucky and tried to run to the street on the right. The guard shouted at him, then for aid. The Overseers gathered on their escape.

 

Bucky ran faster and dragged Steve then. There was an open trash bin, Bucky jumped inside, the odor almost making him vomit. Steve joined him and Bucky pulled the lid seeing the guards run aimlessly through a crack. Their breathing was heavy, quick and even the stink didn’t matter on that moment. They wanted to live.

 

They waited until they couldn’t hear their voices. Bucky opened the lid and got out, making sure no one was around. Then he hauled Steve out and hugged him.

 

Every time they were close to death, Bucky felt the need to cherish his lover as if it were the first time he felt fascination by him.

 

The main road was out of the question, they had to take this street instead. A dark, humid alley that was surely the home of a hundred weepers.

 

 

_The ocean took my breath away_

_and tried to use it_

_to swallow the sun whole_

_but the sun cracked open,_

_on the ocean’s teeth._

_ashen, the ocean cradled the pieces, whispering,_

_I loved you the most,_

_oh, I loved you the most._

 

"Attention, Dunwall citizens. Be advised, the River Krust infestation has spread downriver as far as the river mouth and flooded district. Do not attempt to approach or destroy a River Krust. Any item recovered from doing so are considered state property.” Bucky raised both arms, like demanding an explanation for their bad luck to God. Or even to give up. The loudspeakers kept changing their fate—although for now it seemed to be going for worse.

 

“How are we going to cross the river if the main street is closed?” Bucky looked at Steve. “We’re doomed.” He stated. Steve shrugged.

“There must be a way…”

“For fuck’s sake, we almost got killed a few hours ago and now you believe we still can cross the river with surely a fucking double-security post and a couple of Tallboys waiting for the first idiot that tries to cross it!” They stared at each other for a few seconds, Bucky looked down, sighing. “Look, I’m tired. Sorry.”

"I don't blame ya, Buck." Steve bit his lower lip and looked around. The buildings had closed all their main entrances and he could see an open window until the 5th story of the next building. He wondered if his magic still worked, since the last time he had failed on saving both of them. The blond told Bucky he needed to pee, and wanted a bit of privacy. The older boy nodded watching him go. He could hear a whisper of _be careful_ while hiding in the alley. 

 

He closed his eyes, wishing for the Outsider to grant him one more chance. He promised to look for runes. He pointed his left open palm up and the mark glowed. The blue light appeared and Steve let himself be dragged to his goal. 

 

The room was messy and he could hear the flies, meaning there was a dead body close… or a weeper. His left hand started itching and he walked around the room, searching for an exit to open the main door for Bucky. He found Sokolov's Elixir and a surprisingly rare Piero's one. He shrugged, opening his backpack and saving them for later. 

 

The apartment was big enough for him to wander around thrown books and burnt candles on the floor. He jumped piles of trash, ignoring the itch in his hand becoming stronger as a whistling coming from the last room went louder. He could see a purple glowing. A shrine. 

 

Of course his magic had worked so close to an Outsider's spot. 

 

He ran towards the altar and took the rune. The itching ceased and he could feel stronger, awake. The Outsider appeared before him. 

"You kept your promise." He crossed his arms. "And it seems like your thief friend already has an opinion without even knowing anything but the Overseer's opinions on me. Funny." He scoffed and Steve didn't say a word. He supposed deities enjoyed being able to complete their monologue without any mortal interrupting them. "Know this, Steven. Great changes are about to begin, closer than you think. Prosperity might come, but the end could be nigh as well. Keep on finding my shrines, you'll need my words soon enough." The Outsider's gift, the whale necklace, shone strongly. Steve took it out and looked at it then turned to the deity and he was gone. The little carved whale glowed yellow. He wondered if that meant something. 

 

He found out that behind the shrine there was a fake wall of bricks. The blond took one by one off it and found another room, covered in sketches and book pages. The whale glowed brighter. The walls were covered in paper, some attached to each other with red strings. It seemed like someone was trying to find out something about the rat plague. There was a desk, blocking a door. Steve found a cross, carved from whale bones, with a note attached to it. 

 

"Another Bone Charm. Consider it a gift, deary. Granny Rags." Steve got the charm inside his backpack and pushed the desk to one side without any problem. He felt relieved to find the stairs. 

 

He ran and found himself jumping and avoiding flies until he reached the first floor. He took the wooden logs blocking it off the wall and opened the door, shouting for Bucky. 

 

Steve got worried when he didn't hear a reply, he couldn't spot the brunet. He walked outside the building and didn't see his friend anywhere. His heart was caught in his throat and he feared for the worst. 

 

He recalled Bucky's last worried thoughts. 

 

"Don't move or your friend is dead, you filthy pagan." Steve gulped, raising both hands in the air. He was in deep shit. "Ya see the mark? He's an Outsider follower." The guard spat on the floor and got closer to Steve, pointing the gun to the back of his head. 

"Do we call for reinforcements?" The other man asked, Steve assumed he had Bucky in his arms. "We don't want another incident."

"Shaddup. We could kill them right here."

"Wait!" Steve shouted. "I'm the one who is a follower of the Outsider. My friend isn't. He didn't even know." He felt a knot in his stomach when he heard Bucky (?) fall onto the floor. 

"What?" The brunet asked in despair, he sounded confused and broken. Steve's heart burnt stronger than the Outsider's mark. 

"So this fella didn't know anything about your… witchcraft?" Steve shook his head and turned around. Bucky was on his knees looking at him in disbelief. The guard that must have grabbed him was standing just behind him while the other one stood right in front of the brunet pointing a gun at him. "Easy then, shoot him. I'll personally burn this fuckin' heretic." Steve's hands trembled. Bucky looked down, giving up. 

"I can show you where we hide!" Steve lied. "We have a cult, near here." Bucky frowned at him and when Steve looked at his blue eyes, the brunet rolled them. Steve had fucked up. 

"If we find more heretics, we could get them to the Lord Regent. He'd reward us properly." The man who wasn't in charge of the last decision said. The guard pointing at him sighed and took out a piece of rope. He tied both hands of Steve behind his back and kept on pointing the gun at him, forcing him to walk. The other man pulled Bucky up and did the same. 

 

Both boys walked in silence, Steve searching for Bucky's eyes while the brunet just looked down, disenchanted. The guards discussed about getting a new squad. 

 

They arrived to a different security post where a third guard joined them. He took the prisoners into a metallic booth and then pulled Steve outside, leaving Bucky on his own. 

"This one is an Outsider follower." The captain explained. "He says there are others around here. You two go with him. I'll keep an eye on the other one." One of the guards meant to protest but the captain didn't pay attention, got in the same booth as Bucky and closed the door behind him. 

"How is he always doing what he wants?" One of them said full of hate. "I bet he wanted the heretic but is too afraid of getting bewitched." Both laughed and pushed Steve so that he could lead. 

 

With another bit of rope, Steve seemed like a hound in two legs. The guards chatted, joking about their captain. Steve worried about Bucky with each word that came out of their mouth. 

He wasn't sure where he was leading them, and with his backpack back in the booth at the security post, he knew he had to get rid of these two quickly. 

 

The whale necklace shone purple and Steve knew he was close to a shrine. He looked up and he could see a purple glowing from a window. He gulped. 

"There it is." The guards followed where Steve was pointing with his jaw and scoffed at him. 

"How many are there inside?"

"They're probably coming here. We could surprise them from the inside." Steve bit his lower lip, hoping his lies could be working. 

"Right." One of them said. "We wait inside and we kill them as soon as they enter the room." Steve agreed nodding enthusiastically. If he was to find another rune, he could have enough power to get rid of them—and save Bucky afterwards. 

 

※

 

His plan had worked. He had put the guards to sleep and tied them with the rope. He had used Blink to get onto the ground safely and ran back to the security post. 

 

The metallic booth was still closed, he could see the captain's shoulder. He was saying filthy words in between moans and Steve's stomach felt sick. It was too late. 

 

He didn't waste another second and pointed at the metallic container. He thought about rats, eating his nasty skin, of every scream of horror he would let out. The mark bled and the screaming began. He couldn't hear Bucky. 

 

Steve got closer to the booth and opened the door. Bucky was on his knees, blood splattered everywhere and on his face. Drool dripping from his mouth. He was still tied. The remains of the captain were only bones and Steve was glad he didn't have the chance to see the whole scene. The rats escaped through the door. 

 

The blond wanted to say something. _Apologise_. He wanted to let Bucky know he felt like a piece of shit for not telling him; that he had tried, but the moment never seemed to fit. But his friend was still shocked, his breathing becoming steady. 

 

"I'm sorry, Bucky." Steve finally said, falling on his knees beside him. He extended his arms to untie his friend but the brunet moved away. 

"Don't touch me." His voice was hoarse, his throat was still hurt. Steve felt as if he had been shot. 

"I never meant to lie to you." He muttered, moving backwards so the space between them was greater. The smell of blood was starting reign. 

"I'm not—" Bucky coughed and he spat. "I'm not angry at you for hiding the Outsider thing to me. I'm hurt that you didn't trust me enough."

"If we were going to be caught, I wanted me to die, not you.” Silence.

 

"Well, it seems you had it better than me on this one." Bucky glared at him and sat against the metallic wall. 

"I didn't…"

"I think it would be better for you to carry on, Steve." Steve looked at him, surprised. Steve had lied to his best friend, his lover and it seemed like he didn't want him anymore. "There's seriously not a point on this anymore." Bucky wouldn't even look him in the eyes. 

 

Steve got on his feet and ignored the whole trembling mess he was becoming, trying to hold his tears back. 

"Just so you know," the blonde said, "I love you and will wait for you at the Distillery District."

 

Bucky didn't say a word and let the blonde walk away. He was glad he was covered in blood already, because he knew that soon his eyes would start bleeding.

 

He was damned by the moment that fucking guard had entered the booth and pushed down his pants. Bucky had looked at his legs, they had open wounds, bleeding. The captain had told him how he had little time and he wanted it to be pleasant for when he would start losing himself. Bucky had been sobbing the whole time the guard's cock was in his mouth. He knew he was doomed from that moment and that he wouldn't be able to save Steve from being burnt. 

 

 

 

 

_I am made humble and small by my wanting,_

_a traveler crawling across open desert_

_sucking in heat_

_wheezing out woes_

_‘this is not me, this must not be me,_

 

_I would not do this’ to myself_

_I think_

_would not lay myself down_

_and keep my soul in starvation._

 

_I would not pour sand down my throat_

_in prayer_

_for the cool kiss of water._

_Would not take that kiss_

_at the price of the dry. The grinding_

_of the weight in my gut._

 

Steve wandered around the empty streets. He couldn’t hear anything but the wind blowing and his steps on the humid concrete. He was sobbing silently, his hitched breathing followed by a soft whimper. The look on Bucky’s face, the hurt in his voice—everything appeared inside his head followed by the Outsider’s voice, repeating the phrase he had hated since it had come out of his mouth.

 

He had to face it, he was never going to make it. He felt unmotivated. To be honest he hadn’t walked away from the metallic booth right away. He had waited. He wanted Bucky to call for him so that he could untie him.

 

He didn’t want Bucky to forgive him, he just wanted to help him and try to make it up for him.

 

"Attention, Dunwall Citizens. You are reminded that assaulting a member of the City Watch has been made a capital offense, and guardsmen are authorized to carry out this sentence on the spot. The offender's possessions are legally forfeit.”Steve cursed under his breath and he saw the necklace glowing purple. It was a soft light, the blond pulled the charm and threw it on the streets. He rejected the idea of talking with The Outsider right now. He could make the deity’s words in his head over and over. The smirk he would have, the devilish black eyes laughing at his unfortunate event.

 

He felt an itch on his left hand. He sighed and picked up the necklace, wrapping it around his left wrist. He followed the sense of direction that always seemed to pulled him right into the Outsider’s shrines. 

 

※

 

Bucky had hoped the infection would kill him as soon as he’d started bleeding from his eyes. He kept vomiting and wishing that the Sokolov’s Elixir didn’t let him last longer. He wanted to die. The pain inside was unbearable and every time he gargled on his blood, he was reminded of Steve’s pained face thinking Bucky hated him for lying. Is true, in the beginning he kinda embraced the feeling of betrayal but then he just hoped both could make it out alive, _by the Void_. Did he judge Steve for following the Outsider? No. To be honest, he never quite believed into anything. The Seven Scriptures were mere bullshit for him and he had met followers of the Outsider before; they were never how the Overseers described them.

 

Perhaps witchcraft was scary but it had helped them through their escape.

 

Bucky didn’t feel his legs anymore, the stink of his guts made him dizzy. He felt cold and lingered on the thought of the day he made it out alive from Rudshore. With Steve. 

 

He thought of Steve’s lips, Steve’s skin… his voice and how much he adored to feel he could protect him. How Steve had to tiptoe to be able to steal a kiss from him. How much Steve made him happy.

 

The brunet knew there wasn’t much to do. He wished he could’ve let Steve untie him but didn’t want to risk his friend getting the plague. He wanted to grab the guard’s gun to shoot himself. He wished to die.

 

The numbness in his limbs, the blood coming up his throat… he wished Steve could make it to the District well and without any other obstacle. He held the next lump of vomit in his throat to be able to asphyxiate himself and end up his suffering.

 

A welcoming warm light was the last thing he could see before going completely blind.

 

※

 

"Attention, Dunwall citizens. This is a reminder that walls of light erected in our streets are for your protection. However, they will respond to any touch or approach with lethal force. Furthermore, it is a misdemeanor to throw any object or animal into a wall of light, whether for amusement or criminal intent.”

 

Steve found the shrine perhaps taking another way around. For once, he had found it in a clean state, the room barely touched. Maybe the District was better than the others, or this follower had abandoned their home long before the plague started. He hesitated before taking the rune in his hands, letting the Outsider appear before him. Steve couldn’t meet his eyes, the pain lingered in his chest.

“What an unexpected turn you’ve taken, Steven.” black eyes locked on him, amused. “Many people would give away their souls to have what you two had. I would have never seen that coming from the thief, but you know—he’s given me another opinion of himself.”

“It’s not his fault to hate me. I lied to him. I deserve this.” Steve’s voice broke at the end of his statement, the deity stayed silent for a minute. Steve looked at him, ashamed.

“He didn’t hate you. And maybe he ended up taking that abrupt decision because he got the plague…” Steve opened his eyes and attempted to run away but the Outsider stopped him with his magic. “Even if you go back, you’ll find he’s already damned.” The blond fought against the force of magic, shaking and trying to kick out of the black matter.

 

He struggled for a while. The Outsider waited for him to get tired to let him go. Steve fell onto the floor with a loud thud, panting. He started sobbing.

“What would be the point of all this if you ended up dying?” The Outsider asked. “He died and before that saved you from getting infected. Stop blaming yourself. Allow Barnes the dignity of his choice. He must have thought you were worth it.” He dissolved into nothing, leaving Steve on the floor, tearing up.

 

Even though it had been Bucky’s decision, he still felt the pain.

 

"Attention Dunwall Citizens. Thaddeus Campbell - formerly High Overseer - is no longer a citizen of Dunwall. He now bears the Heretic's Brand and by one of of the oldest traditions of the Abbey of the Everyman, it is now a minor criminal offense to offer this man aid or housing. In this time of spiritual crisis, the Overseers have initiated the Feast of Painted Kettles until a new High Overseer is chosen.”

 

He stayed on the floor, curled up in a tight cocoon for a while. Thinking about the life without Bucky Barnes felt like a knife through the stomach. He would’ve preferred being shot and burnt for being a heretic instead of losing him. He had been selfish, allowing Bucky to give him all of the Sokolov’s Elixir. He hadn’t deserved the kindness, not when he wasn’t able to save Bucky.

 

The brunet had dedicated his life to protect and save Steve of anything. Two years had been since the plague had started and they’d seen many people give up their loved ones to save their own lives. Hard times meant taking desperate measures, but Bucky never stopped caring and putting Steve first. Even when Bucky’s family moved back to Serkonos to be safe, Barnes had stayed on his side. His mother had just died and he was so vulnerable. He always came back to that moment and thought that if Bucky would have left on that day, he wouldn’t had lasted that night.

 

Bucky sacrificed a lot for Steve, and Steve hated himself for not being able to repay him in some way. He had been abused and cheated on the last moments of his life… it had been unfair to him.

 

He allowed himself to close his eyes, hoping to see the Void and relive a moment with Bucky, be able to touch his hand, kiss his lips… he hoped to wake up beside him once more.

 

 

 

 

_I didn’t lose a friend in the war,_

_no, I carried him home with me_

_I’ve felt his warm breath on my neck,_

_and his arm slung round my shoulder,_

_walking side by side down familiar streets._

 

_On nights I can’t sleep,_

_I check over and over to make sure,_

_he’s kept safe in my nightstand drawer._

 

_And if I dream it’s of cold metal and harsh winds,_

_grazing finger tips when the train shifts,_

_watching, horrified, as you’re swallowed whole._

 

_No, I didn’t lose a friend in the war_

_he was ripped away from me; bodily._

 

"Attention Citizens: This evening the streets adjacent to Pendleton Manor will be closed for a private ceremony following the tragic loss of two of our city's best and brightest, the Lords Custis and Morgan Pendleton. All holdings and Parliamentary votes now fall to Lord Treavor Pendleton, who asks for respect during this time of mourning.”

 

The loudspeaker woke Steve. The early light entering from the window reminded him of his unfortunate reality.

 

He hadn’t had a pleasant dream. Nor he visited the Void. He had been wanting to be with Bucky, just one last time, in his head and he hadn’t been granted that wish. 

 

He was hungry. He looked around and started chuckling in despair: his backpack had been left in the metallic container. He had to go back.

 

He stood up and climbed down the window, with the help of Blink. 

 

※

 

Making his way back was harsh. Other Overseer's had come and seen the mess provoked by him and had started a research around the streets. There were Overseers with a metallic box that covered their chest close to where Bucky was supposed to be. Steve cursed under his breath. He wanted to give him a proper burial. He didn't even know how those Overseers were supposed to be defending themselves. 

 

"We're dealing with a heretic here." The Captain intervened. "These strange objects gave him away." He had Steve's backpack on one hand, and had taken out one of the Runes with the other one, showing it to the others. Steve gulped, they had to have their plans—everything written out on his sketchbook. 

 

He knew the best place to be unnoticed was by walking on the rooftops. He used Blink to get to the top and found a way to the inside of the building, retrieving as much as he could. He found elixirs hidden on a cupboard and a Bone Charm inside a desk, along with a note mentioning the immunity to rat bites. 

 

Steve jumped from window to window, getting closer to the metallic booth. He could not make out anything that was inside of it but the blood and guts spilt from the guard he had killed. He felt a hole being carved inside his chest. He hadn't meant to be that cruel. He had been filled with rage and for that, he regretted not being able to control himself. 

 

He blinked to the back of the booth and looked inside from one of the windows. Bucky wasn't there. He kicked the metallic wall out of despair and the Overseers started playing a terrible noise out of the box. 

 

Steve tried to escape using Blink but somehow the blue light didn't appear. The mark didn't even glow and he felt weaker as the noise filled his head. 

 

He could only question the Outsider about Bucky just before the head of the closest Overseer stained the box with its blood. Steve gasped in fear, jumping back and falling on his butt. A second shot was heard and the other Overseer had the same fate. 

 

The guards came back and immediately got defensive, shooting at Steve. His mark glowed and time slowed down, allowing him to get up and move away from the bullets. 

 

He used Blink to get up to the closest building and hide until the officers could get tired of searching for him. 

 

He waited there, sitting against the wall but able to look out of the window. As always, the room was a mess but he ignored it. The Outsider had saved him, one more time. 

 

※

 

He had fallen asleep and not noticed that now the whole street was closed. Tallboys were looking inside each building, and fortunately for him, the spot he had chosen left him unseen from any angle. 

 

He felt guilt for not being able to find Bucky’s body. Probably it was burning along with others in a pile of infectious corpses. He lamented the whole situation: losing Bucky to be saved and not being able to give him a proper good-bye, getting behind on his plans and now being trapped on this damned room.

 

"Attention Dunwall Citizens: The Ascending Circle has chosen _Teague Martin_ to be High Overseer. Let us praise their choice. The Dance of Investiture will take place without delay.” Steve knew this new High Overseer would be the reason of an increased security, but then he heard Tallboys shutting down and guards joining into a small festivity on the beginning of the street. Steve couldn’t ignore this window of opportunity and so he used Blink to get to the next building on his front, allowing him to jump in between the rooftops.

 

※

 

He saw the whale charm glow again. Steve wanted to thank the Outsider for what had happened a few hours ago, so he followed his sense of direction that kept pulling him to shrines. This one was on a first floor and Steve noticed how the guards must’ve cleaned the place for the stains of blood on the walls almost invisible and the smell of chlorine. 

 

Steve calmed himself and took the rune. The Outsider appeared before him.

“The clock’s ticking and you just lost a lot of time.” He said. “But guess it was worth it. Since you know Corvo Attano is another chosen one, I must inform you he’s doing an splendid job and he’s outstanding with the gift I’ve given him…” The black-eyed man kept babbling about how grateful he should be to be another chosen one because it seemed that Steve was bothered by the mark.

“I wanted to thank you for saving me back there.” Steve muttered caressing the back of his head shyly.

“Huh?” The deity looked around. “Remember I don’t make choices for you. What you do with my gift is all your fault.”

“You shot the Overseers back there. Your mark wasn’t working, I was about to die.” The black-eyed man shook his head. “It must’ve been you!”

“Or a thug who saw you were in trouble and decided to save you.” the Outsider commented. “It had nothing to do with me. There are ways to block your magic, be careful with that song.” He disappeared and Steve was left with a hundred of questions but only one kept repeating inside his head.

 

Who had saved him?

 

"Attention Dunwall Citizens: Anyone with information leading to the location and return of the Royal Physician is required to speak to the City Watch at once.”

 

He had to keep on going or he would loose another good opportunity.

 

※

 

"Attention Dunwall Citizens: You are urged to consider presenting children between the ages of seven and ten to the Abbey to be tested. As Overseers, they will be provided for, and serve the wellbeing of the community and the city.” Steve hated how cruel Overseers were. He had seen them take the lives of survivors or not respecting their belongings. He remembered how, when his mother died, they had taken everything they owned arguing that what belonged to infected citizens was property of the state. He knew many people felt like that, mostly the population of the Flooded District. Dunwall Citizens gave them divine power and that was troubling for people who despised them because, even if they tried, Abbey followers would always find an argument to defend them, to give them more power.

 

Steve was glad he was chosen by the Outsider. To be considered an heretic. He preferred that title than an Overseer one. They were corrupt and no one truly believed it.

 

His mother had never considered that career path for him. She had always supported Steve on the artist path and had tried to get him to the best schools there were in Rudshore. Of course, it had been hard. Other students had preference due to their status, and the little opportunity they gave to artists was off to the richest students.

 

Bucky wasn’t considered Overseer material thanks to his rebellious attitude towards authority since an early age. His mother said that he hated when they looked down at him only for his family coming from Serkonos. It was hard to get a job or even walk around without being harassed because people of Dunwall was racist, and they considered people of Serkonos being nothing but merchant and whores. So when they referred to him as a Serkonian-piece-of-shit, Bucky would let them know whatever was in his mind.

 

Even if the majority of Serkonos was a true Abbey of the Everyman follower, Steve never knew Barnes family’s spiritual guidance of choice. They were really polite and never mentioned anything like that to respect the neighbours. 

 

Bucky never really discussed that with Steve but he kinda mentioned Outsider followers once or twice. Not frequently. Steve couldn’t make anything out of it. He remembered Bucky's face when he had turned around and seen him, on his knees just knowing Steve had lied to him this whole time. Their victories turning into ashes. Their kisses being a bittersweet memory. 

 

Steve got on his knees and took his sweater off. It belonged to Bucky, he had given it to him because the coldness affected Steve more than it should, and Bucky could handle it. He hugged the clothe tightly and tried to smell Bucky, but not even the faintest smell could bring an image of his lover to him. He whispered _I'm sorry_ , tears rolling down his cheeks and the wish of seeing him again ached in his chest growing as he kept repeating his words. 

 

※

 

"Attention Dunwall Citizens: If you notice suspicious lights or sounds emanating from evacuated buildings, please bring this to the attention of the City Watch."

 

Steve walked forward, slowly with his hands in his pockets. He felt crippled, as if some part of him had died. He felt empty and the hollow feeling in his chest grew day by day when he got to think about Bucky. He missed him. He kept on wishing to be able to see him in the Void just to apologise for leaving him, for lying to him and for not being able to protect him when he had done it selflessly a thousand times before. 

 

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard a couple of guards yelling about Corvo. Apparently, the Lord Regent had come around a day ago and they'd have to reinforce the security thanks to the ex-Lord Protector. The captain seemed to be pissed about it because there was a shortage of personnel and the other one apparently feared for his own life being taken by the masked criminal due to said shortage—it meant not being able to walk in couples but on their own.

 

"The Lord Regent would like to remind us all that curfews will be enforced without exception. Citizens on the streets after curfew will be treated as hostile. The Lord Regent bids each and every citizen of Dunwall a pleasant night.” There was his warning, Steve sighed. He was tired of dealing with Corvo’s troubles leftovers. He hoped everything would be worth it in the end because it seemed to be too much.

 

The midnight was chill and he knew he had crossed past the river point and that he was far from the shore thanks to the map Cecelia had provided to him. He could see Bucky’s messy handwriting on one of the spots, supposedly on where they were going to cross. _Impossible_ , it read and Steve’s heart clenched in nostalgia and he had to look away to stop himself from crying. Life without Bucky was what it seemed impossible.

 

He found himself on a wide street and went to confirm he had arrived onto John Clavering Boulevard, which was the main road crossing the Distillery District. He smiled to himself and thought how would Bucky celebrate. He didn’t have his backpack anymore, so he had no food nor elixir to try to cheer up himself.

 

_Oh, Bucky_. Steve walked in the middle of the street, thinking about being the Emperor of all this along with Bucky. He chuckled on the thought of having a prosperous empire, free of the plague and fair to the poor. No, he didn’t want to be an Emperor. He wanted just to have a position to save others, to be able to do something. The dreadful thought of having lost Bucky to the plague filled his head once again and he just lost it. He fell on his knees and dropped his head on his hands, mumbling how unfair it was that it had been Bucky and not him.

 

The loudspeaker activation started and Steve wondered why would they send a message after midnight. It seemed strange. He looked up.

 

"If I explain, then you will see, I am not at fault. My Poverty Eradication Plan was meant to bring prosperity to the City, to rid us of those scoundrels who waste their days in filth and drink, without homes or occupations other than to beg for the coin for which the rest of us toil.

And it was a simple plan – bring the disease bearing rats from the Pandyssian Continent, and let them take care of the poor for us. The plan worked perfectly. At first. But the rats – it was if they sought to undo me. They hid from the catchers, and bred at a sickening rate. Soon it didn’t matter, rich, poor, all were falling sick.

And then people began to ask questions. The Empress assigned me to investigate whether the rats had been imported by a foreign power. I knew the truth would come out eventually. So there was no other way than to be rid of her, and take power myself. She had to die, you see. SHE HAD TO DIE.

Bringing about the death of an Empress is not an easy thing, but it gave me the chance to attack the plague with some real authority. Quarantines! Deportation of the sick! But there’s always some idiot woman searching for her wretched lost babe, or some sniveling workman searching for his missing wife. And then quarantine is broken!

But you can see how my plan should have worked? Would have worked! If everyone had just followed orders.” The loudspeaker went off again and he could hear the faint alarm somewhere far away from where he currently was.

 

Steve got up, dizziness making him feel numb. It had all been… it had all been a plan. A plan that went wrong. He thought about every single person he had to see die because of the fucking plague and how many had to sacrifice everything they had to save their beloved ones. Steve curled his hands into fist and could feel the mark itching. He knew this would be the end for the current Lord Regent but he seriously wanted to let him experience the pain, the sorrow, the despair of all the people who were suffering on the streets because he thought poor people weren’t worth living a life.

 

He decided that every City Watch officer, every Overseer and many others were just part of a game they didn’t even understand. It was blind faith and they all have fallen for it. He felt shame for those who killed survivors in the name of the Lord Regent. He felt shame for those who considered him something close to a divine being.

 

But most of all, he felt angry for losing Bucky at a stupid failed plan from a rich old man.

 

 

 

 _Because I’ve been to the warmest points_  
Every time I heard him say my name  
And if the winter is as cold as they say  
I’ll just have to remember all the times I’ve wanted to kiss his face

 

Steve followed John Clavering Blvd. until he reached a security post—or what it looked like one. Guards were burning corpses and swiping the few rat's pieces into the fire. He knew if hegot closer, he would be shot without being shown mercy. 

 

"Attention Dunwall Citizens: Hiram Burrows, formerly the Lord Regent, has confessed to heinous crimes against the people of Dunwall. He shall be confined to the Coldridge Prison until the proper authorities decide his sentence.”

 

Even if it was barely midday, the clouds wouldn’t let the sunshine bathe them with their warmth. Steve hugged himself mostly for Bucky’s sweater—it was all he had from him and wanted to cherish every good moment he had by embracing it as if it was the real Bucky.

 

He stared at the post, longing to pass through but also waiting for a perfect moment to deactivate the Wall of Light, when a woman got close to the guards. 

"You a resident?" The man demanded and she quickly nodded. Fragile arms, untied hair, slacks covered in dirty and blood… she was a survivor. 

"Now that things are going better, I wish to come back and clean everything." She added. The guard looked at the map he had on one of the pouches on his belt, and rubbed his temple. 

"Look, I can let you in but you need to stay away from the buildings still marked with the plague symbol, alright?" The lady smiled and they switched off the Wall of Light. She walked in without any problem. Steve didn't want to lose any more minute, he got up and walked towards the feared weaponry. It was still off, he noticed. 

"You going back as well?" Another guard asked. "With what happened last night we decided to clean up the streets until a new Lord Regent takes the position. If you want to help, you can start by cleaning the inside of your home and throwing anything you don't trust away." The guard offered Steve a vial of Elixir. 

"Are things going better?" Steve was honestly curious, for him things were worse because he had lost the love of his life but maybe it was just perspective. He took the vial, opened it and drank. Long gulps thanks to his thirst. 

"Some things get better, others not that much." He coughed. "You know about the Masked assassin? People say is the soul of the former Lord Protector, and that he's avenging the Lady's wishes to see Dunwall prosper."

"Do you believe that?" Steve finished the Elixir and put the vial in a trash bin. 

"I'm going to tell you something, kid." The guard stated. "Politicians and rich people have corrupted minds, and all of those you've heard that had died through the loudspeakers recently? Pure scum. Nothing but filthy men." Steve nodded and thanked him for the Elixir. The Distillery District looked like a better place, prominent for a better life. 

 

He got in and placed his hand on top of his chest, and thought of Bucky. He would've wanted to enjoy this moment with him. The whale charm started glowing purple, and Steve followed where it pulled, leading him to a house which had the plague mark on the front door. He hesitated. He didn't want to spoil the moment.  

 

He saw the balcony open and he _blinked_ appearing swiftly on it. The place was really dirty. He found various notes with strange rituals written on them with a messy handwriting. There were many skulls painted on the walls with white ink. He could smell rotten fruit, the odor coming from downstairs. He covered his nose and mouth with Bucky's sweater and kept following where the charm glowed the most. 

 

The person who would’ve lived there must’ve died recently because there was prepared food on a stove and the coal hadn’t died yet. There was an open door that led to a garden. He could perfectly see the purplish glow to the left. It was L-shaped and at the end of it there was a shrine. Another heretic like him had lived here.

 

"Attention Dunwall Citizens: You are required to remain indoors while preparations are made forthe glorious ascension of Emily Kaldwin the First. Any disruption to public order will be treated as a threat to our sovereign. Thank you, and may this joyous day live in our memories forever.” Steve was glad to hear Emily had been rescued and he wished Corvo could be at her side because it seemed obvious he had been the reason of her retrieving. He felt thankful to have at least seen Corvo once, the most feared assassin just to not judge him as others did. He knew that if he had been chosen by the Outsider, he had to be different and could take choices that would surprise the deity every once in a while.

 

_"I, Admiral Farley Havelock, humbly accept the mantle of Lord Regent of the State of Gristol and all its Imperial Possessions, notably the Capital City of Dunwall. I fervently hope my tenure will be a short one, and that the rightful heir will take her place within a mere decade or so._

 

_As Lord Regent, I hereby appoint the Lord Treavor Pendleton to the office of Prime Minister._

 

_As Lord Regent, I hereby claim the titles of Grand Admiral of the Fleet, and Supreme Commander of the Combined Armies of the Empire.”_

 

He got closer to the shrine, the sound of the flies invading his head, and took the rune making the Outsider appear. Both stared in silence for a while.

“You’ve made it.” the black-eyed man lifted both arms in the air. “You’ve succeeded and for that, I owe you the truth. But before that, I must say you learnt quite a lot on your adventure—that it’s not over yet, of course. I’m in awe because you never killed a single man, the guard you let a swarm of rats eat him was already dying and you saved him from the worst. You only used my gift for good. The highlights of your path could be when every time you felt saved or happy was in the thought of the thief.” He chuckled slowly. “Speaking about him…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EPILOGUE

 

Steve ran through the now clean streets, without any rats, as quickly as he could. His legs could be giving up if it weren’t for the Elixir the guard had shared with him hours ago. His heart raced and he felt as it would explode as soon as he could be seeing him again.

 

He arrived to the Distillery quickly, thugs were throwing empty bottles into a boiler filled with water to sterilize them. They looked at the small blond and smiled.

“Steve Rogers?” a black tall man asked. Steve wasn’t able to reply but he nodded, quickly and trying to recover his breathing. “Malcolm, go an’ fetch the gentleman.” a ginger man saluted and disappeared through a door, Steve was dying to see him back with _his gentleman_. He chuckled at the thought of Bucky being a rich duke or something, having to wear a top hat, living in a huge mansion and all. He could see both still in Rudshore sharing their cot, kissing each other sloppily and tangling their legs in a sleepy morning. He was just so happy that he started to tear up.

 

The other men just smiled, knowing perhaps why there were tears. The sound of the doorknob made Steve jump and walk towards it but he felt dizzy just as he saw Bucky come out of it. He was dressed differently, in much bigger clothes, his face looked tired. He smiled nonetheless. Steve recovered control over his legs and ran towards _his gentleman_ , he tugged him and kissed him, hugging him tightly. 

 

Both sobbed silently, sharing kisses of comfort, telling how much they loved each other, ignoring the audience they had. Steve asked to be forgiven but Bucky just touched his face with his right hand, making Steve look up. He could feel a cold metal holding his back, he turned down and saw that Bucky was missing his left arm. Steve mumbled an _oh, Buck_ and kissed him on the lips sweetly, a long passionate kiss involving nothing else but lips.

 

He had him back, a promise of the Outsider never mentioned but lingering in the shadows. Bucky had been a weeper briefly. Sokolov and Piero, Dunwall’s most famous scientists, had been picking up weepers off the street to experiment on them with different cures. Of course there were failures, death was inevitable sometimes. Bucky’s shot had been good, his left arm was linked to a serum, to keep him stable. The serum and cure didn’t mix well and it got a curious colour. Piero tried to save his arm, trying to stop the gangrene but it was too late: they had to amputate. He got a mechanical arm instead, he could pick up things and pretend he touched…

 

Steve held Bucky’s left ‘arm’ all the way back to the Leviathan’s home. Bucky had been silent after their reencounter and Steve wondered if it was because he had felt different after that last night together towards Steve. When they arrived, Steve used Blink to get to the balcony, not letting go of his lover. Bucky shuddered as soon as they appeared and then looked up, opening his eyes in awe.

“Are you alright, Buck?” Steve cupped his hand under Bucky’s chin. Bucky nodded smiling and pointed at Steve’s left arm.

“Can you get us to the next island?”

“No, silly.” Steve chuckled. “Look, everything’s fine, I found this house and it appears its owner died on the plague. I could clean up and it would be a perfect home for both of us. It’s like five times our old home back in Rudshore!” Bucky bit his lower lip and kissed Steve on the nose.

 

There was an old mattress on the floor and he told Bucky to sit there. The brunet obeyed and looked down, still self-aware of his metallic arm. Steve took off Bucky’s sweater he was wearing to give it back, then pull off the coat the brunet had covering his shoulders. He dressed him with the warm and comfy clothe. As soon as he was finished, Bucky broke down in tears, his face going red and drool dripping from his mouth. Steve hugged him, placing the brunet’s head on his chest, kissing the top of it reassuringly.

“Bucky, you’re everythin’ to me.”

“I’m a monster. I was the first one to succeed with the cure but then—it was too late to save my arm. Now I can’t feel anythin’.” Steve pulled him from his chest and put a finger under his chin to make Bucky look up. He kissed each cheek, the brunet hadn’t stopped crying so he could taste the salty tears.

“I’m here to be your left arm. All I see is the most perfect and handsome man whom I’ve chosen to love each day of my life. You’re not a monster, Buck.” the brunet sobbed and tried to breathe steady, then laughed a bit. Steve kissed his cheek soothingly. “You’ve protected me all my life, now’s my turn to give back all you’ve sacrificed for me.” Steve pushed his lover onto the mattress carefully and lied in front of him, curled against him. He chose to hold Bucky’s metallic arm all night thinking about how much the brunet loathed his new condition and how much Steve wanted him to feel comfortable about it.

 

※

 

Little did Steve know that the night he was saved from the Overseers and their annoying music box was the first and only thing Bucky did when he was making his way to the Distillery District.Having found a note saying that they would make two days to the mentioned place after surgery, Bucky set his objective clearly. The scientists let him go, not after retrieving a few vials with his precious blood. 

 

But now he looked different, metal coming out of his flesh being powered by a vial with whale oil. Cables tangling as veins around the main steel bar that would be his forearm. Each finger being able to move thanks to each gear that simulated knuckles. The arm was stronger, and it definitely was Piero’s masterpiece.

 

He had been walking close to the shore when he’d heard the Overseer’s music. He got closer and saw a small blond kid in the middle of it. He barely remembered the blond boy, since the recovery included temporary amnesia and mild headaches. He had to save that blond from the masked men. He pick pocketed a gun from one of the guards and got to the second story of the closest building.

 

Where he had learnt to shoot? Gangs. He hadn’t forgotten about it. He pointed at the back of the head of the masked man and shoot, saving the familiar kid. 

 

After it he ran away, fearing they would catch him, wanting to get to Distillery District as soon as possible. He got before Steve to their goal and talked with Slackjaw’s men about what had happened to him, they supported Bucky since then.

 

Bucky hated himself for who he was now but just by thinking of being a weeper made his stomach clench. He couldn’t see himself in that state and he didn’t remember much about what had happened before that. Not even like a dream.

 

The first night he had been a human being once again, he dreamt of the black-eyed man. He told him how surprised he was, that his life had taken a disgusting turn but luck had found its back into it being able to be saved.

 

※

 

Days went by and Emily Kaldwin as an Empress benefited Dunwall in different ways. Her Lord Protector, Corvo Attano was honored with a loyalty medal for being able to save the empire from a much darker fate that the Loyalists had planned for it. 

 

Steve and Bucky set up a painting shop on the first floor of their home.

 

Bucky began to love his metallic arm day by day, learning that he could lift heavy things without any complain thanks to the energy the whale oil gave it. It had been fun at first, he helped the neighbours move back in. He also got to meet others who had lost limbs after recovering from being weepers. Some had both legs replaced, they reminded him of the Tall Boys. 

 

Their neighbours knew that Steve and Bucky were not the original owners of the place, but still they did good to others and they preferred these two than the previous heretic old woman that gave them the creeps. Bucky liked chatting with everyone about Steve's adventure; and even if he didn't recognise himself as part of Steve's success, somehow their neighbours knew that the reason the blond was still alive was because of him. 

 

Sometimes, at night and when Bucky was completely asleep, Steve would go to the end of their little garden to talk to the Outsider. He would sometimes appear and other times Steve would stay in silence, waiting. He learnt to offer some rituals to him, from the notes he had found there, and the deity would praise his skills for a former atheist. 

 

Things didn’t change much for many people, there were still many recovering from the plague but there was hope. Steve was thankful that Bucky was saved, and Bucky was thankful that Steve had made it on his own in the end. Both of them proved to themselves that they are much more than they think, and that there are no limits for them. Not in this life, or the other.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> fanart all by me :)  
> follow me on tumblr! bereweillschmidt.tumblr.com


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